Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The End

Write? Why? What for? I think my writing days are done. Nobody cares about this writing thing anymore. By now everyone knows I hate my life. They should have figured out I don't have the best relationship with my family and that I've contemplated suicide at least twice a year over the last 3 years. In my case conflict always sells. When I was beefing with my brother or when I wanted to quit my job. When I started this 3 years go, I was looking for a way to let go of things that were affecting me. I had never written before. A dear friend encouraged me to begin a blog after reading my year end recap, so after midnight on the first day of 2011, I wrote my first Ghettoblaster.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Money Problems

Life is a never ending roller coaster of emotions. It never makes any sense. You can be OK then the littlest thing can ruin your mood. When your good your never at your best. When you at your best, you don't even know it. It seems like no matter what you have or who you are, you can be unhappy. You can be poor but content, so contentment can also be construed as happiness. 

Monday, December 9, 2013

Feed Me

I need a change, because I'm tired of nickel and diming my way though life.
Shaking my proverbial cup hoping for a hand out or even a hand up.
Can you spare a dime of your time? All I need is ten minutes.
To prove that I'm worthy of your philanthropy.
I don't want change, I want time.
I need to feed my soul with a steaming bowlful of attention.
Although I'm too poor to pay any, I thrive on it.
I live for it and die without it.
My belly empty but full of promises.
Reach deep down in your pockets and give me what you can.
A smile, or a 'how you doing?' will suffice.
It will keep me going for the rest of the day.
'Will work for friends' Sharpie on cardboard.
No, I will not drink it or smoke it, I will cherish it.
You have to trust that the best nation in the world is do-nation.
So don't pass me by with  your nose in the air as if I didn't exist.
I don't need your spare change or a sandwich.
I need you to acknowledge me and give me your spare time.
Feed my soul with companionship and my heart with love fruit.
Man can't live on work and mischief alone. Give me change. Feed my soul.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Inner Turmoil

I feel death pulling me close to the ground. I want to go on, but I could use the rest. Nothing would give me more satisfaction than to give up. Why keep going? When it's all said and done, none of it will matter. The world will forget what I sacrificed. My body is weak and continually breaking down. I want to brush the years of abuse and decay off, but I don't have the energy. Why continue? Nothing will be left of me when I'm done. I'm not the man I once was. I'm a fraud. A ghost. A restless spirit that has no home. Nothing makes sense anymore. I'd rather be a memory instead of a burden. I just want to close my eyes and take a final breath. 

Monday, November 18, 2013

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

Recently a close friend of mine got his heart yanked out of his chest, thrown on the floor, and Mexican hat danced on. No matter what happened ,when you realize your on the outs, it never gets easy. Whether it's the 1st or 10th break up. For this particular friend every break up is a another reason not to trust women. This is dangerous. This guy is a great person. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Going forward he will be extra cautious, not opening his heart enough to get hurt again. He may focus on small insignificant things to justify not staying with a girl. He may be cold and try to strike first, before he can get dumped again. The problem with this is that he may find the one and sabotage it before it can reach fruition.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

My Weekend in El Salvador

In the Spanish language the letter I is pronounced EE  so Wi-Fi when read by a Spanish speaker should be pronounced Wee-Fee. Not long after arriving in our temporary abode I coined the term, mostly for my own amusement which quickly became the catch phase "I'm gonna go Wee-Fee" because it only worked at the restaurant. When traveling through the mountainous region of a Central American country with a group of Millennial city dwellers thoroughly dependent on their Iphones and tablets to communicate with the world, life seems to revolve around the constant search for Wee-Fee.

Friday, November 1, 2013

His and Hers

HE is ready for a change SHE wants to try something new HE brings home a treat SHE agrees to try something new HE is hoping for a strange reaction SHE doesn't know what to expect HE warms them up SHE he eats hers in 2 bites HE flips the channels SHE reads a book HE stops on the soft core SHE peeks and makes snark comments HE hopes that it will get her going SHE claims the treat isn't doing anything for her HE offers another SHE reads on HE is feeling really good SHE seems bored and unaffected HE wants her to be where he is SHE goes to bed HE is already there SHE wants to lay down HE wants to play SHE doesn't want to be bothered HE wants to stay high SHE kills his vibe HE is again left hanging SHE is completely unaffected HE feels his experiment backfired SHE sleeps HE sleeps SHE awakens angry HE is awakened by her gruff disposition SHE is unchanged HE hoped that this would mellow her demeanor SHE wonders why she is worn out HE wonders

Thursday, October 31, 2013

People Are Never Satisfied

The problem is that they chose not to be satisfied. They could have it all but if it's not what the next guy has, then it sucks. People want recognition and praise, but they refuse to go the extra mile to get it. No one ever gives you anything. I'm here because I chose to be here. Because I chose to sacrifice a lot of things to be here. Now I have to sacrifice a lot more things to keep my place. I'm not obligated to belong. No one owes me anything. I owe myself to make my destiny a reality.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Anger is Deadly

Why is the world so fixated on anger? Especially my anger. Everyday I'm told that I need to learn to get angry. That it is healthy. The problem is that no one out there understands that when I get angry, it could cost someone their freedom. 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Homesick Homie

I could not imagine being so far away from home that you miss every little thing about it. For instance the leaves turning in the fall. When you go from living on the East Coast your whole life and you move to the dessert, you miss things like that. I take things like that for granted. The same old roads and business' like going to the Golden Bull for a case of beer. Or being careful not to scrape your bumper on the cracked up driveway as you leave the 7-11.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Hispanic Heritage

34 years ago today I was born in Managua Nicaragua. I was born weeks after the triumph of a Communist revolution from which I was named. Weeks before turning 3 we immigrated to the United States settling in North East Washington D.C. I grew up around black kids. We then moved to Langley Park, MD. Believe it or not we were one the first Hispanic families in that neighborhood. Sounds crazy considering that today it is 99.9% Salvadorean.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Clemenza Explains It All

Today I thinking about love. I think about love a lot. Not the emotion, but the notion of love. A scene from the Godfather came to mind. When the Corleone's go to war, Clemenza has to cook for the men. Michael is on the phone with Kay. She tells him she loves him, and Michael refuses to say it back. Clemenza pulls his card and teaches him how to make sauce. I started thinking about the 3 most important things I learned from the capo regime.

How to cook.


How to kill.



Never forget the cannoli.





Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The King of New York

Last week Hip Hop erupted into a frenzy behind six little words, when Kendrick Lamar proclaimed, "I'm the King of New York" He also called out all of the rappers in his class. This was a genius move on his part. He lit a white hot fire under a bunch of guys that have been waiting for an opportunity to return to relevance. Only a couple of the guys hat he actually called out dared to respond. The rest of the contenders were trying to restore the pride of the rightful birthplace of Hip Hop.

Lost in a sea of people

Going in circles
Frantically searching for a space to fit me
One two three four times
Flight or flight kicking in

This is for the birds
As I make one last futile attempt
I see my opportunity
I don't want to be, but I need to be

Heart beating
The commotion is too much to ignore
I see faces.. in slow motion
Some happy.. some sad

Things don't matter.. people matter
I know you.. you know me
Where are you? Where is the door?
There you are.. Bye

Sunday, August 11, 2013

She warned me there would be blisters

Early this morning I got up and got ready to go for a jog with my running partner Marco. We agreed to meet at 7 am. I got ready and I text him, but no reply. I knew that he was going to be out late with family, so I figured he got in late and was still asleep. At 8 he replied and we decided to go out for a run at that moment.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Art? What's That?

Picasso, Rembrandt and DaVinci
Paint? What's that?
Mozart, Bach and Tchaikovsky
Music? What's that?
Dondi, Seen, and Disco Dan
Clean walls? What's that?
Dre, Premier, and Dilla
Beats? What's that?
Biggie, Pac, and Nas
Rhymes? What's that?
Bruce, Chuck and Yip
Discipline? What's that?
Getz, Brubeck, and Satchmo
Jazz? What's that?

Art. 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Chances Are

Have you ever had an opportunity but were scared to take it? You didn't take a chance to see how things would come out? It's time to start rolling the dice. Why do we always stay with what we know, what is safe? Nothing ever got better by sticking with what we know. If I never took a chance and tried my hand at this crazy writing thing, you wouldn't be reading this right now.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Leave No Flowers

Forego the parade. I'm no fucking hero. When I go, leave no flowers. Don't let someone that didn't really know me fabricate a story about how great, humble and likable I was. I don't want a bunch of strangers crying crocodile tears for me. I want my brothers there. Not only my blood brothers, but my life brothers. The guys that have seen me at my best and at my worst. I want them to tell the stories that matter. I want them to remember me the way I was. All the crazy shit I did. My foul mouth and my ginormous heart. 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Invisible

I guess I'm here to stay. the more I wanna leave. the more I realize I have no where to go. I was built to lose. Everyone gets what they want. Me I get the same old song and dance. The day I leave, no one will have suspected it. They will ask themselves, where could he have gone. They would not know what to do. Old reliable will be on a dusty road to a new life. Why would anyone even care. I'm the guy that makes things happen. I'm the guy that does all the work. No one likes me, but without me they will be lost. This what I signed up for. Isn't it? I don't remember agreeing to be everything to everyone. I never agreed to be perpetually invisible.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Friendship and True Love

Not long ago, God smiled down on one of my best friends, and blessed him with the love of his life. This weekend their love and commitment for each other reached a pinnacle in the form of a wedding. I was witness to their stroll down the aisle. Along with other lifelong friends and family, I noticed the permanent smile on his face and the glimmer in her eye. It was a beautiful ceremony. The little rascals grew up this weekend. We had a blast and I was able to fit into my suit.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Evolution

When I was a the gym today, I noticed something different about myself. I was running on the treadmill and realized that I was actually enjoying it and pushing myself to the limit. About 4 months ago when I decided to drastically change my diet and start living a more active lifestyle, I didn't realize how much I would truly change.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Till Death

What does the term heart and soul mean to you? I think that in everything, some thing or someone can be the heart and soul. I always try to be the heart and soul of every situation in my life, whether it's work, home, family or my circle of friends. Unfortunately I can't say that I am the heart and soul of anything. If anything I'm the conscience. In my crew there is one heart and soul, the glue that keeps us together after all these years.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Run in the Park

All week I was planing on running this morning. My running partner had a long weekend so wasn't able to run with me. Congratulations to you and your bride by the way. This morning I decided to go on a long run by myself. With a partner I can push harder, so I was't sure how it would go. I had my old man drop me off by the Paint Branch Trail entrance in Riverdale.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Table for one, please.

Being me has always been hard to say the least. I've always been a chubby, funny looking kid. I'm agonizingly shy. Worst of all, I'm painfully kind and gentle. I've always made it my mission to please others. I never ask for anything in return. This makes for a lot of awkward situations. I would go to the ends of the earth for my friends and family. I'm not quite sure how many would do the same for me. I assume it's only right, but I'm a realist and don't expect anything from anyone. When someone does show good will towards me, they are golden. They never have struggle alone again if I'm around. Anything they need is done. It's sad because most people don't even notice my efforts. The ones that do, either don't care, are creeped out or tell me to stop. This type of existence is conducive to chronic loneliness. I work. I go the gym. I cook. I do laundry. All by myself. I struggle everyday. Nobody ever notices or offers any help. When I do ask for help, they look at me funny or make up excuses. When I see them struggling, I drop everything to help them. Sometimes I just wanna be jerk, tell the world to fuck off. I always wonder how things would be if I wasn't there. I assume that no one would notice I was gone. I think people would notice when things stopped just happening. They didn't realize how much I really contribute to there comfort-ability. I will never know how it is not to struggle. How it is not to worry. How it is to be taken care of or appreciated. I'm not bitter, I'm just being honest with myself. My life is 'a table for one' If I'm hungry, I have to cook. If my clothes are dirty, I have to wash it. If I'm tired, I have to finish my work, before I can rest my head. When I'm hurt, I have take care of myself. Do I complain, why? I keep on doing what's best. I sit at my table for one, eat my food, drink my wine and plot my next move.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

What I did and how I did it

People have been asking me how I lost 37 pounds in 4 months. It's called science and routine. I didn't do anything drastic. I didn't stop eating. I didn't spend 2 hours in the gym 7 days a week. I didn't drink juice for the last 4 months. I didn't take any "weight loss" drugs. What I did was easy, deliberate and calculated. This how I did it.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Pitch In

A lazy Monday with the family on the sand. The weather was perfect. Since we got there early, there wasn't a lot of foot traffic. I was able to walk around the beach and take pictures of things that were interesting and things that were just appalling. Although it was a partly cloudy day, the sun managed to break through at mid-morning  Even at noon, there were still only about 30 families on the beach. We posted up at a picnic table and put down our blankets just where grass became sand.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

This is the end... this is the end my friend... the end

Today is the final day of my first 30 day challenge. I committed to writing 30 posts in 30 days. When I finish this post, I will be done. Let me tell you, it has been hard. I didn't always have inspiration. At least half of them came to me as I sat at the computer. When I really drew a blank, I would just write a poem. It was interesting to think that I could finish something I started. Which has always been a weakness of mine. I know that most of it was rubbish, but I feel that I fulfilled the challenge and am ready for the next one.

Friday, June 14, 2013

McBurger Hell

Dollar burgers? Who's frigging brilliant idea was this? Lets sell quarter pound beef patties for one dollar. Not only plain patties, but lets make 5 seasoned varieties. People lose there frigging minds. Normally we sell half pound patties at $5.99 per pound, so they cost about 3 bucks a piece. Lucky for us it's only for one day. It was originally a 4 day promotion. We try to be prepared, but you can never be prepared for something like this. 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Yoga... will kill you if you let it

Today was an eye opening experience for me. I always enjoyed, the idea, of Yoga. Once upon a time I used to try to follow along with video on demand fitness videos. I actually thought I was doing something. A couple of weeks ago my boss decided that for our meeting today, she would take the management team to a group Yoga class. I was game, until I had to run to the Yoga studio.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Day 27

I can't quit now. I only have 3 more days to go. I have to write something significant today for it to count. I'm not done with one 30 day challenge, but I'm thinking about the next. I will take a picture a day of the things in the my life. I already have ideas for the first ones. Some of my daughter's crazy room and some of my shoe collection. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Eyes Closed: Numbers Game

Sitting here nodding off, can hardly keep my eyes open. I hear the TV on and off. I want to pass out, but I know I have a story to tell. I first opened my eyes 16 hours ago. When I got up the world was laying down to sleep. As I left, I said goodnight as I started my day. The morning was dark and cool. I follow the sun although I would not see it for another 10 hours. The lights from the cars reflecting off my windshield. Music vibrating my windows as I nod my head to stay alive, because if I fall asleep I'm as good as dead. I'm sleepier now than I was at 1:30 in the morning when I hit the road. 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Six Nine

69
Those numbers always warrant a sly look. To me it resembles the symbol for the horoscope sign Cancer. To me it also exemplifies the yin and the yang. The day and the night. The dark and the light. Male and female. They are mystical numbers and symbols. Depends on who you ask the 6 and the 9 have negative connotation. Three of either number in a series is considered the devil's sign. I think the numbers are of great importance. If you decipher the numbers in your life they tend to have more meaning. June is the sixth month of the year. My wife was born in June, which makes her a Cancer. September is the ninth month of the year. My daughter and I were born in September. She was born on the 12 which a multiple of 6. I was born in 1979. We hold a lot of power in the those numbers. March is also a month of importance. It is the third month which is the root number of 6 and 9 and also the difference. I began dating my wife on the 27th day of March, which is 3 times 9. March 9th was the day that The Notorious B.I.G., who I feel a mysterious affinity with, was gunned down and killed. In the grand scheme of things 6 and 9 will always govern our paths. I think that it is our destiny.
69

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Take me out to the ball game

Today my brother and I treated my dad to a Nationals baseball game. He watches them religiously on TV. He definitely a fan. Nicaragua has a long tradition of baseball not to mention birthing Dennis Martinez. As a kid one of my fondest memories was watching the Orioles and Yankees play on TV with him. That is how I learned the game. I also learned all the old Nicaraguan sayings and puns about the game. Since Father's Day is next weekend, we decided to take him.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Today, Tomorrow and Next Week

My arms are sore. Today I lifted free weights at the gym. I did dumbbell curls, dumbbell presses, butterflies, rows, and shrugs. I usually do the circuit training but never feel it the next day. I thought it was the lack of amino-acids in my meat free diet. Today I went hard and got results. I actually welcome the soreness, because it makes me feel like I actually worked out. In a few hours I'm going to get up and go for a jog. I hope legs are ready to go. My ankle is a bit sore, but I think it's because of the boots I work in. 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

My Body Project: Week 9 - 13

Well it's been 3 month's now. I'm officially a fish eating vegetarian. I've lost 28 lbs on the record (today I weighed myself and I was down 3 more pounds) I've gone out for some road runs, which was awesome. I feel great and look better. Even with a hectic work schedule, I find time to hit the gym at least 4 times a week.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Not like me

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. I need positive influences in my life right now. I'm trying not to let negativity keep me down. I know I'm a good person. I work hard and care too much. I'm done. I need to find something else to do with my life. Nothing I do is ever good enough. Why keep kicking a dead horse. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. Nobody cares. I've tried but I officially failed. It's time to walk away before I do something drastic. People think that they know me but they have no idea. You keep messing with the quite one, eventually they'll snap and show their true colors. If I don't step back I will die on my feet. I'm too young to feel like there is no hope. No one will ever understand you as much as you do. I don't hate them, I just don't understand them. They are stubborn and set in their ways. They can have it. I don't need this aggravation. I'm just one man. I have no one to rely on. No one to take up my slack. They expect the world from me, but can't catch me when I'm falling. I was born alone and will die alone. Nothing is like it seems. I never complain. I do what needs to be done. When things aren't perfect, I do my best to fix them. They sit down and cry about it. They blame me for everything. It's easier than working harder to get results. I'm not hard to deal with. I'm a pretty easy going guy. They can't accept that. They want me to be conniving and vindictive like them. They think that pettiness and self loathing is a personality trait. I got stuck with someone else's problems. It's a shame because they are good people. Not like me.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Hit Man Flow [Poetry]

Flows come to mind to unwind the clutter in my mind

Define a life lived to please.... kid please I'm gonna say thank you
As I grab the duffel and the wrap the towel around the muzzle to muffle
What is to be your last complaint.. I still feel disdain
So I kick your lifeless body.. Who cares cause nobody's
Going to notice you're gone.. Say goodbye to the bad guy
As I fly down I-95 to stay alive.. I arrive
At the  rest stop.. Brake lights bright red.. Exhaust in the air
As the door opens.. The bass resonates until I turn the ignition off
Because offing suckers is my business.. so stay out of mine
Pack of smokes, can of coke, and blunts for the toke
Barrel still warm in my waste.. No time to waste
I must displace the body of the gun and the soon to be John Doe

Flows come to mind to unwind the clutter in my mind

Flagrant I be with the hatchet.. whack whack.. this whack motherfucker
Tough as leather he is.. lighter by the pound in pieces
A suitcase, a gym bag, guitar case, a copy paper box all hold miscellaneous parts of a whole
This sucker's heavy.. No one notices us walk by
All they see is a guy with a guitar hanging from his shoulder, with a suitcase in one hand
A gym bag in the other and a box of copy paper tucked under his arm.. He must be moving
I'm grooving.. Shoulder pain as the strap digs in.. Box more and more heavy
Back in the truck you go, you bastard.. His picture plastered all over the evening news
Good news for me.. They think he's missing.. His head is missing from his torso
More so I drive.. As I vibe to to the music.. humming
Tomorrow is another day.. Don't delay.. Because I won't
Good night you good for nothing motherfucker.. I told you I was coming

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Not So Perfect

Perfect. Does anyone really know what that means? Are you perfect or do you know anyone that is. The people that usually claim to be perfect usually are not. The people that tend to point out everyone else's imperfections are usually not. If you judge yourself by by everyone else's eyes, you will never be perfect.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Something something something something

I don't know if I will make it to 30 straight days. I guess that's why they call it a 'challenge' I'll be losing a lot of sleep when I try to write a novel in November. There is a reason why I only write a few times a month. It's hard to come up with stuff to write everyday. I'm so tired and need to get some sleep, but I need to write a bit more to be satisfied that I fulfilled my obligation.

This incoming week will be long and tiring. I was off this past Wednesday and will not be off again until next Saturday. I will be getting up at 3 am most of this week. I hope I can hang, because I have no other choice but to hang. Like the saying goes, 'you gotta pay the cost to be the boss' The following week I hope to be able to take 2 days off again. Maybe in late June I'll take a short break so I can visit some friends and relax a little.

The one thing I will be doing this long week is working out and try to stay busy. Even though I'm busy enough, sitting at home after work will not benefit me. Today I went to a family function. Tomorrow I will jog after work and the rest of the week I'll be going to the gym everyday after work. I need to loose 20 more pounds to be able to fit this suit for my friend's wedding in late July.

Enough is enough, I need to take my butt to bed and try to get at least 5 hours of sleep. Thanks for reading. Tomorrow at the same bat time and the same bat channel. Good night.

Friday, May 31, 2013

What a day what a day-ay

I'm going to make this short and sweet, because I have to get up at 3 am and and I have to go bed now. Today was a long crazy day with it's up and downs. I woke up with a mission. I needed to find a temporary replacement for 2 machines at my job that were out of commission at the same time. so right after getting up I started calling around and looking online for a place to buy one. It was a stressful morning.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Lotteria!! [Reader's Choice]

On my Ghettoblaster Facebook page I posted that I was attempting to write 30 blogs in 30 days as a 30 Day Challenge. I was recently challenged to do something I've never done before for 30 days. Since November is National Novel Writing Month, I figured I needed some practice if I was going to write everyday in November to finish my novel. I also challenged my readers to suggest topics for me to write about since I have about 16 more days to go. Christian answered the call and suggested I write about 'Winning the Lottery'  My first thought was, how can I write about something I've never experienced. Then I started to think about what people normally do when they buy a ticket, "If I win, the first thing I'd do is...." Then I though about the things I wouldn't (or at least try not to) do with my money. What about writing about 'winning the lottery in a different context' I also mentally traveled to my childhood trips home where the lottery isn't as you know it. So after a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast this is what I came up with.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Jose and Ilan

Today I had the good fortune of spending a few hours with someone that was truly blessed and brought back to life. I went to high school with this guy. Soon afterward he went off to the Army and I didn't hear again from him until a few years ago through Facebook. I discovered early on that hewas an organ recipient. Last year he was helping sell Donate Life shirts of which I bought and proudly wear. I've always felt that organ donation was important. After today I truly understand the gift that recipients receive. He has asked me in the past about how to go about writing his story. Today I gave him some pointers, but I'm hoping that after reading this he takes on the task and really considers telling his story.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Hopeless Not Romantic

Making the best of a bad situation is the story of my life. Have you looked at me. I'm dark, with a lazy eye and perpetually fat. I'm detrimentally shy. Clumsy and a bit of a nerd. It's lucky I ever got laid, let alone married. All jokes aside I didn't get much to work with. Confidence was never my strong suit. I could do anything, but make me talk to a pretty girl, nothing doing.

Monday, May 27, 2013

The Pit (BBQ Poetry)

The fire burns
The coals white hot
Throw another log on
Watch the smoke rise

Feel the heat on my face and belly
The temperature rises
Throw the chops on
Hear the sizzle

Flip, brush and wait
Don't leave it too long
Or it will burn
Take them off

Is it ready?
Down eat that
It's still raw
I told you

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Sleep!!

As humans we have a predisposition towards sleepiness. All it takes is a big comfy couch. Why is it that when you start getting into a movie, you get the sleepiest? Head nodding. Eye lids heavy. Whole segments of the story line missing from your cognition of the movie's chronology. Sleepiness can creep up on you when you least expect it. I once fell asleep while driving home. When I came to, I was in the grassy median hurling towards an overpass. Other times like when you have to get up extra early sleepiness is nowhere to be found.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Run Run Run

There have been new developments in my social circle as of late. The biggest event is the nearing wedding of one of my oldest friends. This same friend was once my running partner/trainer. A few years ago I stopped running. When I started running again a few months ago something didn't feel right. I was comfortable getting back into the sport, but my main motivator was missing. After moving out of the neighborhood, a few years back, I was elated to discover a couple of days ago that he had returned to his rightful place 5 minutes away.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Macanudos, Scotch and the Glow of the Lincoln Memorial.

I'm so sleepy right now. I need to go to bed, because I'm going for a morning jog with my homeboy MF. The last time I saw him was at 3:00 am. Spooky snuck into town yesterday. As usual he managed to round up the crew for evening out. Before that we had lunch and had a heart to heart. He says to me, 'you gotta come out tonight' Before I knew it I was switching my schedule for today from 5 am to 11 am. We all met up at a cigar bar downtown.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Fly [afternoon poetry]

Give me wings so I can fly
Soar into the sky
Why? 

Because the ground is too low
I wanna flow
Not bound
By the ground

In the sky I'll be free
Able to see
Everything below

Like a bird I rise and dive
I'll feel alive
Nothing but me and the wind

The sun ever so close
I'll feel no remorse
Because the earth won't miss me

So, give me wings
and set me free
So I can sing
and just be me

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Words to Live By

Time goes by with abandon. I'm 33, I was just 18, then I'll be 45. A blink of an eye and another year. Time is luxury. Don't waste it. Don't spend it on someone or something that will not bring dividends. Stop waiting for the right time to do anything. Just do it. If you keep waiting, your time will run out and you would have never done what ever it is you wanted to do. Don't take breaks. Rest is fine.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Help Me, Please?

I always tend to fail at random tasks. The reason why is I think I can handle it. No matter how big or small it is. The first thing people always ask is, 'why didn't you ask for help?' Help? What's that? There are only two people on earth that I can ask for for help and know that I will get it, and that is my mom and my dad. My father always manages to fix any problem. He has so many connections that by the end of the day everything is set. My mom never says no when I need a couple of bucks or I'm having a health crisis, she used to be a nurse, so I trust her quirky home remedies.

Monday, May 20, 2013

My Life: A Retrospective Part II

In part I started by giving insight on my siblings. I hope you could gather that it's a tough subject for me, and with 6 to go I think will take a detour and go back them further down the line. I want to go back a bit. Back to before I was a problem. Something you may not know is I was born in Latin America during a Communist revolution. I went as far as being named after Augusto Cesar Sandino. The mythical working man's icon who the Communists in Nicaragua chose to represent their Sandinista movement, even though he had been dead for 40 years. Even though my name paid homage to the poster boy of the revolution, my parents were far from sympathizers.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

My Life: A Retrospective Part I

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. The older I get the richer my history becomes. I'm an average guy but when you hear about all my adventures you may not see me in the same light. In the story of my life there is a good guy and a bad guy and I play both. Depending on who you ask, you'll get a different perspective of the kind of person I am. I've been at the bottom, and have seen the top but have never been  able to convince the masses that I belong there.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Neighborhood Dealer

Where I live there is only one place you can go to get your Nacatamale fix. My house. A Nacatamale is a tamale native to Nicaragua. It's nothing like the Mexican or Salvadorean tamale. They are an average of 2 to 3 pounds and stuffed with rice, potatoes, pork, tomatoes, and raisins. Traditionally we eat them for breakfast on the weekends. My mother knows that you can't get a decent Nacatamale this side of Miami. So what does she do? She sets up shop. She found this lady that makes them from scratch in her kitchen every week. That's her supplier. Don't you dare ask her who it is, or try to cut her out, because you will get cut off. She'll never give up her connect. 

Friday, May 17, 2013

My Dad Is So Cool

Yesterday I accompanied my father to a doctors appointment. I noticed what he wore, and thought, 'he's so cool' and it inspired me to write this.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Culture Shock

To make my Mom's day special, I decided to take my family to church then stay for the Spanish mass with my mother. My family has been attending mass at this particular church for at least 20 years. The current building is the "new" church, which was built about 10 years ago. The "old" church is a multipurpose room for the school attached to the church. Back in the day I knew everyone that went to that church. Some were friends, others were just there all the time. Today I saw no familiar faces.

Monday, May 6, 2013

My Body Project: Week 1 - 9

Today marks the 9th week of my "Body Project" When I started working out and dieting my plan was not to lose weight, but get healthy. I didn't do what everyone does and stop eating and go gun ho at the gym. What usually happens when people try to make drastic changes they get discouraged quickly. They feel hungry all the time and they give up on the gym after a sore muscle or an injury.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Resume Reality

The resume is the single most important tool of the job hunter. That is the biggest pile of bullshit. I don't think half the people even look at it. The truth is you can put just about anything on it. Nobody is going to waste their time trying to prove the fact, only if it's an outlandish claim. For me I think the resume should be less about what you want me to read but what really counts and the complete truth.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Human interaction is a necessity

Why are friendships such a burden on people? All relationships are hard to maintain. No matter how much you love someone you eventually begin to hate them. They may have not done anything directly to you but it is easier to ignore them than it is to work it out. 

Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Music in My Mind

Music has always been a constant in my life. The question is, what has music taught me, if anything.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Cipher in My Mind [Good Night Poetry]

The day is early, yet I'm too late
The winner is chosen, so I congratulate

Nothing ever changes, but I stay the same
I'm the only one, that never feels no shame

The map in my hand, but I'm still lost
The fog on my windows, but no defrost

I linger and linger, and hope to be found
I look for my friends, but no one is around

The day is ending, I feel to fear
I can't tell time, but I know the end is near

Until tomorrow, I bid you good eve
Although I've never seen you, I still believe

Friday, April 19, 2013

It's Over?

What a week it has been. As an aspiring marathoner, I was personally disgusted by the vicious terrorist attack Monday on the innocent people of Boston. I as many of you could not understand why someone would commit such a gruesome act. In addition to the 3 victims, I was disturbed by the hundreds of injuries, especially the poor men and women that lost their limbs.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

How Can I Help You?

What ever happened to the art of being a gentleman. Why don't we say please and thank you anymore? Why don't we hold doors and pull out chairs. I still believe in giving my seat to a woman on a crowded train. People don't have time for manners anymore. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A life for a life: Vegetarianism and finding a higher purpose

How much do you appreciate the life you were given? Do take care of yourself? Do you think about what you eat. Do you think about how it affects your body and the world we live in. No? Me either, or so I thought.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

What Have I Done?

I find myself walking through a strange mall somewhere in America. I see people walking past. I look around, not sure where I'm going. Somehow I make my way to the parking lot. While there I notice a woman standing at a car with the engine running and the door open. She may be talking on a phone. I can't seem to remember. I do remember that she has a short haircut, thick rimmed glasses and is dress in men's attire wearing an over sized buttoned down plaid shirt and baggy jeans. 

Monday, February 11, 2013

The Resignation of Pope Benedict

I'm not one to ever get involved in politics or religion. I stay within the realm of my everyday life  I focus on the things I can control and the people I love.This morning when I first got up and read on my wall that Pope Benedict was resigning, it came as a complete shock to me. Having been raised Catholic, I was taught the importance of the Papacy to us Catholics. The problem is, I'm not quite sure why it's bothering me.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Art and Things [pictorial]

Looking around the office I realize we have amassed a peculiar collection of art and things that makes us think and inspires us. My wife is the visual person. She has made collages of my favorite things, usually related to cartoons. On my desk is a collection of all the things I love. You will find toys, old pictures, bar-ware and even Star Wars.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Who We Are

Perception

Nothing ever is what it seems. When you think you are up your actually even and when you think you are down, your actually up. Why do we care about what people think? Why do we always wanna make people think that we are doing better than we actually are. In life there are winners and losers and no matter which one you are you will never be happy.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

... and it sound so nice, Hip Hop you're the love of my life

Hip Hop. What is it? How has it affected your life? Do you think it still exists?

Hip Hop is different things to different people.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Strange Things

I don't usually pay attention to my surroundings until strange things start happening. I drive the same route to and from work everyday. The only change is how light or dark it is outside. I've noticed lately that I'm always either going or coming from work. I don't usually notice what happens in between. Same faces and scenarios everyday at work. Same TV shows and monotony at home. This past Saturday and Sunday I encountered 3 distinct situations that may have been coincidence, but stood out in the grand scheme of things.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Week One

One week into the new year and so much has happened already. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything yet. I need to get going if I'm going to make the best of 2013. There are so many ideas swirling around but with ideas you have to have a plan of execution and guess what?, execute them. Nothing is as easy as it sounds, but the only thing that can hold you back is you. Before I get into what's to come I'll update you on what happened since the ball last dropped.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2012

The Mayans are terrible at predicting the apocalypse. I waited all day on the 21st of December for the world end and end this terrible year on a high note. In reality 2012 was not that bad. There were more highs than lows. I guess at this point in the game, I no longer sweat the small stuff. I also don't expect much from anything anymore. I made my bed so now I slap my CPAP mask (for my sleep apnea) on and sleep in it like a baby. I used to say 'why me?' now I say 'who else if not me' Somebody has to draw the short straw.