Recently a close friend of mine got his heart yanked out of his chest, thrown on the floor, and Mexican hat danced on. No matter what happened ,when you realize your on the outs, it never gets easy. Whether it's the 1st or 10th break up. For this particular friend every break up is a another reason not to trust women. This is dangerous. This guy is a great person. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Going forward he will be extra cautious, not opening his heart enough to get hurt again. He may focus on small insignificant things to justify not staying with a girl. He may be cold and try to strike first, before he can get dumped again. The problem with this is that he may find the one and sabotage it before it can reach fruition.
This is a more common practice than you think. A lot of people that were hurt in a variety of shapes forms or fashions, will take it out on the current partner. It is not intentional, it is a defense mechanism. They subconsciously see this person as a combination of every person they ever dealt with. Especially if they were abused, cheated on or deceived. As humans we all make mistakes. We should not pay for another person's. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that no matter what may seem familiar about the new person it does not mean that it will be the same story. You have to give the person the opportunity to surprise and show why they are not all the same. You never know, you could be missing out on the love of your life.
Believe it or not, I was only dumped once in my life. Being a Virgo, I have always been a hopeless romantic. I fell in love more times to count.I think my first crush was in Kindergarten. I then had an average of 3 crushes per grade. The good thing was that I was extremely shy, so I never made a true declaration of my love. Instead I would do nice things or give unexpected gifts. The girl in Kindergarten got a hand drawn rainbow heart. I gave my crush in second grade a Avon sapphire ring (I stole from my mom's jewelry box) for Valentine's day. I once traveled to Miami overnight to see a girl. It wasn't until I met my future wife that none of that shit mattered.
She never cared about the random gifts. She once said she was thinking about tacos for lunch, so I showed up at work with cooked ground beef, shredded cheese, lettuce, diced tomatoes, salsa, sour cream and taco shells. If she liked something at a store, I would go back and buy it for her. Eventually she dumped me. Yes my future wife was the only person to ever break my heart. She kicked me out and for two months I tried to figure out how to get her back, and spent my paydays at the strip club. If it was raining I would wait outside her place to give her a ride to work, instead of letting her walk in the rain to the metro. I'd show up at her job with flowers. It sucked because she didn't seem to care. The two things that I never figured out during that period was why she did it or why she took me back.
I had been unemployed for about 6 months. When I did get hours I would pay my car note and insurance. I finally got a job. I started making money and made plans to visit New York with her and what happens, she dumps me and kicks me out. She never admitted it, but I was convinced that it was another guy. Then suddenly one day she calls me and asks me to take her back. Since all I did for two month's was wonder why and what she was doing and with who?, I jumped at the opportunity. Not sure if it was fate or dumb luck, it's been over 12 years and we now have a beautiful 9 year old daughter. I wouldn't change anything that happened and how things turned out.
Now back to my buddy. I told him not to flinch. Don't let her see you sweating. Go in there like nothing is wrong, don't pay her no attention. If she asks what's wrong, tell her to ask what's his name. Find a rebound girl and keep on moving. If she's messing around, she's obviously not worth the tears. So stick your chest out and shake what she missing out on. You never know, the next one might be the one, if you let her be.
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