two:thousand:eleven

What a year it has been. I can't believe how fast it went by. I can't say that all my dreams were fulfilled but I'm still here so I guess I did better than a lot of people. Almost exactly one year ago today I decided to create a blog. Who me? I don't know anything about writing. I can barely make proper sentences when I speak, let alone write something for human consumption. A friend of mine named Kimberly, was telling me that she had decided to start a blog. What you have to know is that Kim went to school to for this. She edits manuscripts in her spare time. The only thing I learned in school was how to hustle. I figured no one would read this. I started with the obvious.

2011 Are you ready?

Welcome to the beginning of a new beginning. I'm writing this to practice writing. I've never written before, therefore I will need all the help I can get. I will be posting as regularly as I can, so stay tuned. I will leave you with some homework. Grab a pencil and paper. Write a list off all the things you want to accomplish in 2011. Take that paper and ball it up. Now go out and do everything you need to do to make 2011 better than 2010. Thank you K.P. for the nudge in the write direction.

 

That seems like ages ago. It's also 108 posts ago. I think I took this a bit more serious than anyone imagined. I felt that writing was my way out. If it happened to me, I had to share it with the world. Half the time no one really cared, but at least I got it off my chest. I think my friends didn't know what to expect. Except for Spook, never really heard anyone's opinion of my writing. When prodded they just said that it was good. I wanted to hear that it was great or terrible. Even thought I don't have a million followers, I think that my 11 are great and genuinely enjoy my thoughts.

As some of you already know, I will write about anything. Good things, bad things , and anywhere in between. I managed to get cussed out on more than one occasion by my mother. She even threatened to have a heart attack if I didn't delete one of the posts, which I did delete. She still didn't speak to me for about a month. I still write about my family but more discreetly as to not offend anyone.

The best part of my writing experience was all the inspiration I received. Interviewing and doing research about my father was so fulfilling for me. Soon after writing his story, I decided to start writing his life story. I will soon have something suitable for editing. I also have some other ideas in the works for a book or two. I was inspired me to create The Protectors. That was a whole different writing experience for me. Writing about what I experienced first hand is different than creating characters, personalities, and back stories for a room full of people and make it seem natural. I loved writing about those crazy guys. I don't know were it all came from. I was told that it was darker than people thought I could go. I lament that since I finished the first series, I have been unable to write about them again. I have so many directions I want to go in, but I'm not sure how to do it without losing my way. I think that so far I am the proudest of The Protectors. I hope to someday revisit them or write a full length book about their exploits.

Outside of my writing, what a year it has been. I again did not win the lottery. I still have the same job. I have one less vehicle and are thousands more in debt. The highlights of my year included my wife finally graduating from The Art Institute of Washington with a Bachelor of Arts. She has been unemployed since, and guess what they want their money. I know that the inability to go gain employment has put a rain cloud over my wife's existence. She applies everyday. I don't worry about it. I know that things will start moving in the right direction when God thinks we are ready. For now I have no problem being the sole provider. True I can't afford fancy gadgets and snap back hats but who needs that stuff. I'm fine having things like roof over our heads, heat and food among other amenities. Anyway who's counting, this is what your supposed to do when the going gets tough. We will be bigger than the Beatles one day.

I was fortunate enough to finally relocate to a new, closer to home. location. It was a bit more than I expected at first. I was so used to my routine in Baltimore. I new how to deal with everyone and things got done. Here it was a whole new experience. I was blessed with a great hard working team. I was also blessed to work for a boss that wants me to learn and take over. His intuitiveness and ease around facts and figures is refreshing. I'm trying to absorb his style. Now, our new challenge has been trying to figure out our business. Unfortunately we are not making the money that we expected. This has been the slowest holiday season I've experienced in the 8 years that I've worked in the meat industry. I'm not sure if anyone thought it would be this bad. The problem is that we have a 100 thousand dollar department and only brings in 20 thousand. Do the math, something has to give. We can only cut hours but so much. This will be the greatest test of our professional careers. I have the faith that things will improve.

This year has taught me more about myself that I didn't know. I'm not as worthless as I thought I was. I'm actually more of a leader than I ever imagined. I'm stronger at least in will. Patience has always been my virtue. This year has tested it and rewarded it. Not only did my wife finish school, but I finally regained my professional confidence. I've become a bit bolder. I've become more outspoken, and decided to stop settling for less. I think I've realized that I will have to make my destiny buckle at it's knees and do as I say. Being rich is not an option, at least not in my life time. I have to focus on doing whats best for me and my family. I have neglected my health and physical fitness. I am aware of my decline since this time last year. I also know that I don't feel as good as I did when I ate right and exercised on a regular basis. I've decided to start all over again in the spring. I need to finish what I started a year and a half ago. It seems for now 2012 will be yet another year of transition. I'm OK with that.

As everyone probably knows this year I suffered another bought of Bell's Palsy. It was a bit different this time, because I knew it was coming and exactly what it was. The first time I had no idea. I took the precautions I needed to live as comfortable as possible. Now it has been 2 months. I feel great. I don't have full recovery yet, but my eye, and cheek are stronger than they were. My mouth has some progress but far less then the aforementioned areas. I'm glad to say that I can speak clearly, with some work, and eat without spilling or biting my lips. I know that this was just an obstacle, but not a hindrance. What if God pin of the wheel that day had landed on "heart attack", it makes the Bell's Palsy more desirable. I'm not mad. Something else that made it manageable was the concern and well wishes from family and friends. I was so fortunate to have you all in my corner.

The kid. Well she's amazing. This year she turned 7. She started the 1st grade at a new school. She has really come a long way. Last year she could read some easy words, now she can read whole paragraphs and knows what words mean. It's so cool to watch her, and the person she is becoming. I think she's smarter than I was back then. I sometimes wonder where she gets it from. I think that she will rule the world some day. I just hope that she knows how much I loved her and how hard I worked to give her what she needed.

I will continue my struggle and hope to conclude it in the foreseeable future. I don't have any regrets about the way things are. I'm about to break out of this shell and show the world what I'm capable of. My love and appreciation goes out to the people of and in my family that have supported me and given me proof that I do matter. There are so many to name, but you know who you are. Whether we are linked by blood, marriage or friendship. I will never forget how you treated me when I was a nobody and will be here when you need me. A fond farewell to Ms. Valentina, my wife's aunt. You are in our hearts and were truly missed during the holidays. To my girls, I love you both. Nobody said our story would be easy, but it will be an interesting one and full of laughs and a happy ending. Mom and dad, what can I say, another year that I couldn't have done it without you. It was strange, but on Christmas Eve my father says to be that we wouldn't have many more Christmas' together. That scared me, not because of what it means, but because I was thinking the same thing earlier that day.

I may not be perfect, but I'm trying not to disappoint. I know in my heart that things will begin to look up some day. Nothing can phase me. I get up dust myself off and keep going. I have no fear. I will die someday and people will know what kind of person I was. Like Rocky said, "Why do I box? Because I can't sing or dance" May 2012 be the year that makes all your dreams come true. God bless you all.