Destiny

What were you born to do? Judging by my current situation, I was born to work my fingers to the bone and live a mediocre lower middle class existence.  Do you think Hollywood actors and your favorite singers and athletes were born be rich and famous. How much of good fortune is hard work and how much is dumb luck? Just because you can sing and dance, does it mean you were born to be an entertainer. I was the quintessential pathological liar, but that didn't translate to an acting career. I like to goof around, and under the right circumstances I'm actually funny, not yet a comedian. Something I do notice is the people I know that are actually trying to pursue a career in entertainment, haven't had much luck. Is it because they haven't met the right person that will take them to the next level, or that they aren't that good?


As a kid I had a lot of interests. I wanted to be a cop, then a chef. I know how to cook and I secretly wish I had a gun and badge so I can pistol whip bad drivers and negligent parents. I then discovered music and later hip hop that led me to the turntables. In high school I learned how to mix, scratch and cut in my best friends father's music room. I wanted to become Grand Master Flash and then a music producer. I DJ'ed while when I was in college. I even had a radio program. I should be a mogul by now, nope I happened to myself. I ended up following the road to nowhere that I was destined to follow. The one thing I learned and stuck to was cutting meat. It's not the most glamorous profession, but it pays the bill. I will never be wealthy. I however will never go hungry. Now what? I didn't become a doctor or a scientist, so I won't discover the cure for cancer. I guess all i have left is politics. To run for office I still need some sort of degree.

Imagine that, me making decisions about laws and taxes. That would make for good television. My other secret ambition is boxing. If you use history and conventional thinking as a measure, there is no way I could become a prize fighter at 32 with no formal training and out of shape. I figure I could be like Cinderella man or Rocky and get a once in a lifetime shot at the belt. In reality I would either die in the ring or become the next Butter bean. Yet another dream dashed before I could fall asleep. Maybe I'm just not ambitious enough. I just think that I not destined to do more that what I was destined to do. Regular guy, barely surviving, driving a hoopty and dying to be somebody.

Something I do notice about the rich and famous is that they make it whether they are good enough or not. For instance Paris Hilton. All she has is money. She can't sing, dance or act. Frankly she's not that attractive but she's on every magazine. Anything she does good or bad is news. Not to mention the countless singers and rappers that don't have a single talented bone in their body. Nonetheless they sign million dollar record deals and sell millions more. Actors are the worst. Especially the ones that act like themselves. Don't get me wrong, there are many actors out there that are very talented. Then you have guys like Nicholas Cage. He plays Nicholas cage in every movie he does. The only difference is his hair color.

In my opinion it only takes one person that counts to say your good and then the world believes it. Of course confidence helps. I'm not good looking, I can't sing, and my face is crooked. Then you have guys like Adrian Brody, Edward James Olmos, and Owen Wilson running around. All greatly respected actors. Not the best looking guys. Maybe people don't think I'm intelligent. I must look stupid. I'm not supposed to be more then I have been or will be. I will die fantasizing about becoming someone.

For now I will use all I have and everyone I know to figure what it is I can do to better my life. Money is not the answer. I've been chasing it my whole adult life, and catching it doesn't seem possible. Maybe I need to be nicer, because giving and never taking isn't working either. Since I will never succeed in anything I vow to help everyone else. You need help with a project or someone to bounce ideas off, I'm your man. I will travel. Since I will never be the star may a supporting role will be more suitable for me. It's like a movies credits, even the most minute job gets credited. I will forever be the assistant boom mic operator.