Tuesday, October 4, 2011

It's aight!

Things seem to have certain levels of meaning to different people. The same things that I am am passionate about, the average person could care less about. Is something necessarily good because everyone likes it? For instance a lot of people out there still smoke cigarettes. Yet research proves that it is conducive to lung and other forms of cancer. I was once told that I was consistent by my superior. I'm not sure if it was a compliment or not. Did he mean that I consistently did a good job, or that I was consistently disappointing him.

It's amazing the things that people consider good. I listen to and appreciate a vast array of musical styles. After 30 years of listening to music I think I feel I know what good is. There is a lot of good music out there and there is even more bad music out there. For instance Lil' Wayne is pretty hot right now. The women love him, the guys like him. There is no way he can tarnish his image. After fathering 2 children simultaneously with different women while incarcerated, the world still loves him. Anything he does musically is considered gold. Does that make him good? He's aight! Lyrically speaking he is versatile. He has come a long way from the "the block is hot" days. I think a lot of it is hype. I think if he recited the alphabet backwards in the voice of Elmo and released it as an album, it wold go platinum because of who it is.

Here's where it gets ugly. Barack Obama. We all know the momentous achievement he made when he became president. It was supposed to be the start of a new America. People voted that never voted before. I read that Heidi Klum became an American Citizen just to vote for Obama. Everyone voted based on what? I don't think half the people that voted, knew what he stood for or ever did any research. Then what happened. No real health care reform. Unmployment is an all time high. Troops are still in Iraq and Afghanistan. True alot of his plans went south due to the fact that the Republicans had the deciding vote. Another thing is stuff was wlready messed up when he got there. He tried his best to clean up the Bush years. Overall was his time in office good or bad? It was aight! I don't think anyone can imagine the pressure he is under. Every thing ihe set out to change was railroaded by the opposition. Will he be re-elected. I doubt it.

Friends, how many of us have them? Isn't that what Whoodini said? Friends, family, love life, all those relationships have changed. The rules to friendship are blurred these days. I have 207 friends on Facebook. Outside of my co-workers and distant relatives, I've only seen about a handful of them over the past year. The ones I've spent time with are probably my closest friends. I don't talk to them everyday. I keep up with there lives through Facebook status updates and tweets. Everytime I go through the list to find people to delete I realize I actually know all of these people. They have all impacted me in one way or another at some point in my life. True I may never ask any of them for money or have them over for dinner, but if I do something positive, they'll "like" it. When something goes wrong, they'll have words of encouragement. I can also always count on a "Happy Birthday" from some of them. Family on the other hand falls under the category of "it's complicated"

What's the old saying? "You can choose friends but not your family" Family is the most important part of a man's existence. First, there is your family. The wife the kid. Then there is the folks. Your parents or the elders that you go to for guidance, like an aunt, grandmother, etc. Then you have your "family" They are the descendants of your ancestors. They share some of your genes and even some fond memories. Sometimes you live forever and never actually meet everyone in your family. There are distant cousins that I've never heard of. On the other hand you have siblings and cousins. Sometimes there is no difference. If you grow up around your cousins, they become your siblings. Being from an extremely blended family I'm glad I've been able to have a relationship with each and every one of my siblings. There is nothing I would not do for my family. That doesn't mean that I will do anything. Don't ask me for money, because I don't have any. Don't ask me for advice, because in the end your going to do what you want. Just keep it real with me and I'll tell you the truth. Another thing is, don't ask me to choose sides in a fight. If two of my family members are having a disagreement, I refuse to take sides. I keep it cordial with both sides until it's done, even if they are at odds with someone in my home. Another thing. Where is it written that you can't have a disagreement with family members. Just because I don't agree with something you did doesn't mean that I hate you. I think that if we were all more honest with each other, we would have better family relations. There is another train of thought that you shouldn't fight or disagree with your family members. That you have to accept them and support them no matter what. That's bullshit. If your wrong, I'm going to tell you your wrong, then I'm gonna give you a hug and send you on your way.

When it comes to love and marriage. I don't know anymore. I've read that marriage is obsolete. You hear about celebrities being in "open" relationships. It's as easy to get married as it is to get a divorce. I don't think people respect the vows anymore. I see alot of young couples out there that are doing the right thing. They may not be getting married, but when the babies come they stay together and try to have some kind of formal arrangement. I figure if your with someone for a significant amount of time (not 6 months, more like 6 years) You've lived with them and maybe had some children, the paper doesn't matter. Marriage is not for everyone and it is not a guarantee that they won't cheat again or ever. I like what Mexico City lawmakers are working on. They are trying to pass a law that when you get married, the license is limited to 2 years. Before you marry, both sides agree, if the marriage doesn't work, what each side gets. After two years the couple has to make a decision to stay together by renewing the license or go their separate ways without having to file for divorce. This is genius. I think this is more noble then being 3 times divorced.

So are relationships good in 2011? They're aight! All the previous rules still apply. Blood is thicker then water. Even though some friends become blood after a while. Never go against your family. It's OK to fight, but better to forgive. The most important part in any relationships is the first time they betray you should be the last time. It's also OK to say no. Unfortunately some people take till they can't take no more. They use the relationship as an excuse to take advantage of you. That is not healthy. Let's keep it cordial. Don't overstay your welcome.

Yo! Ms. Jan! Aight! is slang for Alright in other words, it's OK. Shout to my Harbor East family. We may not be kin but we will always be linked by our time together.

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