Suicide

I never understood why people left or didn't leave a suicide note. If I was going to kill myself I would just do it. For the record I really don't understand suicide in the first place. You don't like me.. I'll show you by killing myself. Really? The day I kill myself, is the day I realize that there nothing more I can offer the world. I have to be here to provide for my family and raise my daughter. Somebody has to be the sane voice in my family. One day I will be the patriarch, can't go before that happens. Then again, God forbid, I loose my vision or my ability to walk, I'm wandering or rolling of the highest cliff I could find.


I'm not making light of suicide, but I think that people should be more keen to their surroundings. They should know what their kids think and feel. They should have open communication with their older relatives. No one ever knows that someone has suicidal thoughts until after it happens. Why do we allow kids to be bullied or our kids to bully other kids. If I read another story of a kid killing him or herself because of bullying I'm going to snap. It's so sad.

I was never the most popular kid or the handsomest. That never led me to a dark place where I wanted to cut myself or shoot my brains out. I had sad days and happy ones. I never let the world get to me, I always knew that things would turn around. Even now, I have my ups and downs, but never to do I think that death will solve anything. I need to breath. I need to be here for my family through thick and thin.

As for the note. Why? If you killed yourself, you obviously had a compelling reason. If you ever feel like there is no way out, talk to someone. Don't just disrespect your loved ones by not giving them a chance to help you. Trust me, if you have a good argument for your decision, I'll be the last one to stop you. I don't see me ever writing a note. I will, however talk to someone for days, until I find that one thing they are willing to continue living for. If and when I decide to commit suicide, I'm leaving a mixtape.