I don't even know were to start. First of all, if you haven't been, The Stonefish Grill is located at The Boulevard where the Capital Centre once stood. Since opening in 2003 the Boulevard has become a hub for everything from shopping to dining and even feature's a Magic Johnson Theater. Since it's illustrious opening there have been public brawls, many major investors have disassociated themselves with the property.
It's set up sort of like Bowie Town Center. It's open air and features many national retailers, some synonymous with urban culture. You can definitely buy a cell phone and a pair of sneakers or a fitted there. The main attraction is the movie theater. Before it's opening you only had one choice in central P.G. county and that was Beltway Plaza. Other theaters were out of the way or closed. Since then there have been other high profile theaters to open their doors in the county. With other choices not everyone flocked to the boulevard for a matinee anymore.
The shopping and dining both seemed to target a young urban clientele. The upscale appearance was supposed to attract a upscale crowd, except it didn't. Some of the business' including two celebrity owned restaurants have closed their doors. Leaving the Golden Corral, a Fridays, a steakhouse, and the Stonefish grill. I've eaten at most of those establishments in the past. Neither the food or the atmosphere made for a return visit. The one place we ate at that was decent was the Red Star Tavern. The first time the food was great, right after they opened. We went back a couple of months later, and the service was terrible. The staff was arguing at the front door. We seated ourselves, and 10 minutes passed and no one acknowledged us. We left and no one wondered why. Since then it was a sports bar owned by an ex Redskin and now it is defunct.
The Stonefish which is located next to the empty building that once housed Sidelines. It doesn't look like much from the outside. They do offer some al fresco seating. Inside everything is brown, tan, or burgundy. When we entered, one of the staff held the door for us. Another young woman at the desk asked us how many people were in our party. We informed her that we had a reservation for a party of 8, since we were the first ones there. They asked us to wait a few minutes, since they weren't expecting us until 8 pm and it was 7. We were seated a central table that was comprised of 2 round tables with one straight edge pushed together to form a number eight.
That's when we noticed the cups. They had empty cups at place settings with silverware in a cloth napkin. These weren't glass or crystal. They weren't even hard plastic, they were opaque soft plastic Solo style cups. It looked like a family reunion in the park. I'm not sure why they chose that type of glassware. Once we settled in, then the rest of the decor suddenly slapped us in the face. My wife, being an interior designer, was flabbergasted to say the least. The specialty of the house is seafood. They had large, shiny fish (not sure if they were fiberglass or just taxidermy fish) attached to the wall, surrounding the place. They had marlins, sharks among other species. To really bring home the fact they specialized in seafood was a large banner just below the fish with various fish names in yellow letters. They could have stopped there. Then there were the framed pictures. Large poor quality prints of boats and shipwrecks. In between each poster was an 8"x10" black and white picture of someone shaking a public officials hand, not sure who was who.
When we arrived we noticed a band and DJ setting up. The band members of P-Swag trickled in throughout the evening. Good thing too because it gave a chance for the rest of our party to arrive. We chose not to order anything until the rest of the group arrived. They placed two water pitchers on the table. One was a plastic "beer" pitcher and the other was a pewter water pitcher. My wife couldn't believe her eyes. She also noticed that another large group had mix matched pitchers on their table, they could've just given us two of the same. We were asked to order appetizers for the table by the organizer just before she was to arrive with the guest of honor. We ordered wings, catfish fingers, mozzarella sticks, and cornbread.
Once everyone had arrives we all started sampling the different offerings. The wings were less then ordinary and not "buffallo" enough for me. The mozzarella sticks were warmed through. The saving grace was the large abundance of condiments. All kinds of cups of hot sauce, tartar sauce and blue cheese. Then I tried the catfish. Whoa, I don't usually like catfish because of the distinct flavor of dirt that comes with it. This was different. It was crisp and clean flavored. The breading was light and seasoned just right, and with the hot sauce and tartar it was perfectly complimented.
When it was time to order our entrees I knew to order the catfish, because everything else was grossly overpriced. My wife had a seafood salad. Others ordered pasta, soup, and chicken. No one was overly satisfied with their choice. My wife left half her salad, because she noticed that the crab and shrimp were frozen and thawed only long enough to dress the salad. As we looked around we noticed that everyone in the place was sticking to the appetizer menu. Then the band began to play.
Leading up their opening set we noticed that more and more people were making their way in. The tables where becoming full and they even had some people standing. We weren't sure what to expect. They kept warming up. The DJ kept waiting, and finally he just sat down and had a drink, because it wouldn't be till about 11:30pm before he would have a chance to "set it off" The band started to play. They were singing some contemporary r&b, I think it was Raheem Devaughn. I quickly realized that they had a dynamite drummer and trumpet player. The singers were OK. They sounded like they were the back up singers for Rare Essence. I soon realized why. After two songs they started putting a Go Go swing on everything (You gotta be from D.C. but Go Go is a drum heavy melodic music invented in the 70's). They started cranking. Soon, literally, everybody and their mama was dancing in their seats, in the isles, and everywhere. I kept secretly wishing they would play Sardines.
This place isn't set up for live entertainment. They don't have a stage or a dance floor. So people grooved where they could. They were actually really good, the band that is. I don't know if it was the live music, the cheap liquor or the terrible food, but this place was crammed full of some of the ugliest people I've ever seen. I know, I'm not one to talk, but I do the best with what I have. I also feel that you should maintain a certain level of finesse, especially when your that big and that old. The average age in that place was about 37. There were some that were closer to 60. They didn't care about anything once they heard that drum they let it all hang out. There was a threesome next to our table. It was a sandwich comprised of this one big eyed bastard. The first slice of bread looked like a semi-retired crackhead and the other was 300lbs and 4 feet tall. My man was getting in. The big lady was bent over and wiggling her butt on him and the other lady was freaking him from behind. They were each in their forties. That was a whole lot of ugly in one place.
Overall is was a nice and interesting evening with the family. The birthday boy had a good time. We had a few drinks, and got to listen to some live music. I don't think I would go back strictly for dinner, but if I'm the mood for a good groove and a good laugh, I may make my way back, but it'll probably be gone before then.
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