I was browsing this morning and spotted an article about April 10th being National Sibling Day. I looked up more information and basically today is a day to show love and respect to your siblings. One website instructs you visit, hug, or call your siblings today. I love all my brothers and sisters, even though some of them make me want to strangle them.
There's this guy that lives in my basement. He doesn't have a job, but gets up everyday and goes to work. What ever bit of cash he earns, goes to his alcohol and drug addiction. Then when he comes home, drunk or high his father makes sure he has a warm plate of food to eat. This guy in almost 50 years old, and he happens to be my brother.
Normally, besides the fact that he doesn't help out financially, he doesn't bother me. I only see him when he is coming or going. He helps out when he can, last Fall he cut up our firewood, when I got a flat tire, he took it off for me so I could buy another. He's also handy around the house, he takes out the trash and recycling, and is a Godsend when it comes to opening stubborn jars. I guess it's true what they say about "crackhead strength"
That's about all there is to the positives. On the other hand he's a nuisance, especially to my mother. The room he lives in is in constant disarray. Piles of dirty dishes, some still full of food, that my father goes out of his way to fix for him. Instead of going upstairs to use the bathroom he pees in bottles or the laundry sink. Never washes clothes, even though the washer and dryer are free and steps away from his room. The last straw is, lately he's started to smoke in the room. He waits until everyone is in bed, then the pungent harsh odors starts to permeate the entire house. "That's not tobacco" I exclaimed to my father. No one smokes in this house, so he has no right to disrespect the household. He's gotta go.
As I retreat to my part of the house my Mom gives me a look of condemnation and points to her heart. As sign that I crossed the line and this outburst could affect his heart. It's seems strange to me for her to frown on my call to action. Every chance she gets, she complains to me that she's had enough and wants him out. She even says it to my father every so often. The problem is that when she complains to him, he gets upset and stops talking to her. He doesn't like hearing the truth about his boy. I usually give my father our half of the bills so he can pay them. This includes the rent and utilities. In November and December I only gave him the rent money. He didn't protest. When January came, he reminded me that I hadn't paid for utilities and that I owed him. I went off. "What do you mean I owe you?" I didn't understand why this guy got to live and eat here for free and he was calling me out for 150 bucks. I told him then, that I didn't pay because that guy doesn't help out with anything. The following week, he gave my dad a couple of hundred bucks, that was the first and last time.
After that my dad was a bit upset with me. Saying that we don't understand my brother. That he needs our help. It is one thing if he's trying to pick himself up and start over. When he moved in he moved in with the pretense of only needing to stay for a few weeks until he found another place to stay. A week or so later he lost his job. After that he sold his car. Everyday he gets up to find some day labor then comes home drunk and high, and never gives my dad a penny.
Does this make me a bad brother? It seems that anytime I feel used and taken advantage of by the needs of my siblings and protest, I become the bad guy. I work full time, and provide for my wife and daughter. I don't smoke, abuse drugs and drink only on special occasions. I pay my bills, help out, go to Doctor's appointment's with them, yet when I become fed up with the bullshit, I'm wrong. We'll see what happens next. I have to give my father a deadline. If he doesn't leave on his own, then he'll have to deal with me. I really don't know how I will react. I try to conduct myself in a civilized manner, most of the the time.
"Sometimes it's necessary to do wrong, sometimes it's the only way to make things right" - Hillary Jordan
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