Is etiquette dead? Does the world not know how take please and thank you any more? I've always been told that I am extremely polite. Especially when someone is pissing me off I make sure I say thank and have a nice day.
This morning when I was at Target I wanted to buy a case of water. I noticed there was a young man taking down an end cap of water and loading it onto a flatbed cart. I said excuse me. He looked at me and said, "huh?". So he then proceeded to remove his ear plug headphones and said, "what?". I asked him if I could take one of the cases of water off his cart, and he said yes. Later in my same visit I was in the men's section. The double doors to the back stock are by the men's section. I noticed the same young man pushing a tall pallet of Mountain Dew through the doors. I quickly moved my cart out of the way, and pushed another cart that was left in the aisle out of the way. He looked bewildered, like "why is this stranger trying to help me?".
Everywhere I go I refer to men as "Sir" and women as "Ma'am", no matter how young or old they are. I think I'm the only person that says "thank you" to people when I give them something. When I'm at work and helping a customer. If they say thank you to me, I say thank you back. The occasional customer will ask me, "thank you for what" and I respond, "for shopping with us". When customers are annoyed or just being plain nasty I over do it. I will walk the package around the counter to there cart and with a big smile I say "THANK YOU!!" and I asked them if I can help them with anything else. I especially say it nice and loud when they snatch the package out of my hand and don't say anything. I say, "No, Thank You.".
People that don't respond to a greeting especially bother me. I'll walk over to a customer and say "Hi, how are you?" They immediately blurt out, "I'm just looking". I'll think to myself, "I'm just trying to say hello". The worst are the ones that don't respond at all. They either look away, walk away, or just look at me like I'm crazy. So I say, "I'm fine, thank you, let me know if you need anything". You would think I walked up to them and said, "Gimme all your money."
Co-workers do the same thing. When I walk through the building, if I see someone I haven't seen that day, I say hello. I actually try to know as many peoples names so I can address them by their name. Usually the ones that I've known for a while, say something to me first. Most respond in some way, even if they are distracted. For the most part the younger ones, mainly females, just ignore me. I guess they have a stigma, since they think they are "all that", they can't say hello to me. When I get ignored, I say it more. Eventually they get it, and will say hello back, or I just stop all together, The funny part is when they need help or have a customer that needs help. They suddenly know your name and can look you right the eye.
On the street it's different. When I jog, and I pass someone, I usually say, "excuse me". when I'm facing someone, I say "Good morning" or "Hi". Some respond most don't. Depending on where I am and how approximate I am to someone I will use some sort of greeting.
Why don't people like help? Do they think I'm gonna ask for money? Or do they think I have an ulterior motive? When we lived in an apartment, I sometimes would see people coming home from the grocery store. If it was a lone person, especially a woman or an elderly person, I would offer to help. They would never accept my help. The same thing with big laundry bags. One time a guy was bringing in some boxes of furniture that needed to be assembled. It was raining and he was struggling. I offered to help, he looked at me funny and declined. I've jumped out of my car to help people push a car if I noticed they were struggling. I pushed my car up the street once with my wife and daughter in it. It was rough, other cars kept passing us, and some even blew the horn, but not one person offered to help.
Is it cultural? Or is it just up bringing. I do a lot of these things because I remember seeing my dad do the same things when I was a kid. During the last snow I tried the help shovel the elderly neighbors side walk. He politely asked me not to. We lived in our previous neighborhood for 7 years. I never knew any of the neighbors. Only one time when there was a power outage and we were the only apartment in the complex that for some reason had power. A guy from upstairs came down and knocked on my door and asked me to charge his cell phone, and I don't think he said, "please" or "thank you".
I feel that if people were more open towards world around them we would be a happier people. Most people are either scared of the world around them or just don't like anyone. Where I'm from most people are poor. Everyone knows everyone else in the neighborhood. If I have something and you need it, you can use it. Everyone knows when your sick, and offer assistance. If there is a death in the family everyone gives their condolences. The neighborhood shop owner would bring food if he knew you needed it and couldn't pay.
It's a shame that people die in the street because everyone is trying to mind there own business. If we all cared about each other a bit more, people wouldn't die senselessly. You know when the neighbors are fighting. You know which kids in the neighborhood are getting bullied or running with the wrong crowd. Let someone know. Reach out. Don't just assume that someone else will do something about it. Take responsibility. When your kids out there getting beaten up, you would hope a kind stranger would intermediate to avoid injury or death.
Please. Thank you. Hello. How are you? Good morning. Are you OK? Do you need help? A simple phrase could make a huge difference. Be courteous. Be polite. Be human. Be responsible. Lead by example. Teach manners to your kids, your brother and sisters kids, and the neighbors kids. Civility is the only way the human race will ever survive.
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