Wednesday, November 2, 2011

My life with Bell's (Palsy)

My head hurts. I have inflammation in the base of my skull. Everyone once in a while I get a throbbing pain on my temple and jawline. About three years ago I suffered the same series of pain cues on one fate full day at work. The only difference was that that day my earlobe became inflamed. That evening I went home and was still suffering from the same issues. I then sat down to eat dinner. That's when I finally realized something was awry. The food and drink I was consuming was dribbling out of the left side of my mouth. The left side of my face was swollen and it tingled.


I rushed to the emergency room to be diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. A condition that attacks the nerves in the base of skull. The left side of my face drooped because I had no control over the muscles. I couldn't (and still can't) smile in the left side of my mouth. I also could not raise my left eyebrow or wiggle my left ear. The most important function was my left eye. I could not shut my left eye completely or blink correctly. It was bad when I showered because I would get soap in it for the first month or so. At night they suggested I slept with it taped shut to keep moister in. The problem is if my eye were to stay dry. An ulcer would develop on my cornea. Lucky for me I already had an ulcer over my left eye, so there was no way for the condition to worsen.

On Monday night when I laid down, I noticed I had a throbbing pain in the back of my neck. Yesterday after a stressful day at work it became a bad headache, a swollen jaw and a throbbing temple. This morning when I got up for work, I was still suffering from the same problem. As I drove to work, I realized something that scared me. I realized I was having almost identical symptoms to my first Bell's episode 3 years ago.

The pain persisted. Time went by. I wanted to go to the hospital. I also wanted to finish my job and not leave without permission. After two hours I completed the main part of my daily duties and spoke to the manager. I headed home to have someone drive me to the emergency room. My theory was that since I was experiencing symptoms that it would eventually trigger the facial paralysis associated with Bell's. If I went to the emergency room and convinced them that I was on verge of suffering debilitating facial paralysis. They would start me on the steroid that is used to treat Bell's patients. The problem is that I had not reached the point where they can diagnose me. They won't until my face is drooped. So they diagnosed me with a headache, gave me a prescription for ibuprofen, a roll of wound tape, and told me to come back when my face became paralyzed.

Since then, all I've done is wait. I've kept a mirror by my side to make sure I can still raise my right eyebrow, smile, and blow my right cheek out. When that stops, I can be treated. I really hope I'm wrong. I pray that I don't get paralysis in the right side of my face. Not only because I will not be able to share my warm smile with the world again. My main concern is that I will have to take very good care of my right eye. I already have an ulcer on my left eye, that means I can only see shadows out of that eye. If I were to develop one over my right cornea, I would technically be blind. If I go blind, I will die. I will not be able to work. I can't live like that. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do. Even when it does happen and I get the steroids, there is no guarantee that I will get the function back. I was given the steroid for my left side 3 years ago, and I still have minimal function on the left side of my face.

I would really like for this not to become the final chapter in the story of my life. I'm praying that this will end favorably for me. Otherwise my life will have ended and I will have accomplished nothing. Without my eye sight I will not be able to provide for my family. The best thing I could do is make sure they get the life insurance payment. Now I wait and wait to see how God will play this one. He is the only one that can save me. If you believe, please pray for me. I'm not sure what lesson I will learn from this but I hope that you all can learn not to take your vision and health for granted.

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