I'm Going Going Back Back....

Yo!! I can't believe it's Saturday already. I thought the week had been going so slow up until today. Trick-or-treating on Monday seemed so long ago. Then my mom's birthday was only 4 days ago. After Wednesday, it seemed like my life came to a screeching halt. As the whole world knows by now, I encountered my second bought with the ever elusive Bell's Palsy. The bad news is my face will look like this for a while, which causes me to sound like a stroke victim and eat like an aardvark. The good news is I'm alive and can continue a seemingly regular existence.




This what I look like when I realize that someone ate the last Jimmy Dean biscuit sandwich. Notice on the left side of the picture (which is the right side of my face) I look calm and serene. On the other hemisphere, I have my "awe shit!!" face.



As you can see, if I don't make any facial expressions, I look has cool as Billy Dee Williams holding a can of Colt 45.

Now what? I still get the occasional headache and searing pain at the base of my skull. I've learned to control it with pain medication and facial and cranial massages. So far so good otherwise. The last 2 days have gone off without a hitch. I've even been able to wear my contact lens, so I can see. I think I'm taking this pretty well. That is since I've been confined to these four walls, and took a brief drive around the neighborhood yesterday. Tomorrow I have to go "back to life, back to reality" It kind of scares me to think what will happen when I have to drive to DC at 4 in the morning. True, it's been part of my daily routine for the last 2 months. Then working in and out of that meat cooler. How will that affect my condition. Will it make my contact lens feel uncomfortable. Then there will be all the questions. I'm thinking of typing a form letter and hand it out when my co-workers notice I look like I half transformed into the Incredible Hulk. I would have take 10 minutes every time to not only tell them what happened, but also explain what Bell's Palsy is.

What's wrong with your face? I'm pissed because people keep asking me that shit. The problem is even if I'm smiling at you, you wouldn't know it. Why you always mean mugging? Well, for starters, I'm a jerk, and oh yeah I have nerve damage. Why? Because God hates me, it was either this or a hump. How long will you look like this. Probably for the rest of my life. If I could I would trade faces with a model. Can you get rid of it? What, my face, or the Palsy? The Palsy, silly. If I could get rid of the Palsy, I would have done it before came to work, to avoid all of this unnecessary questioning. Does it hurt? Not really, only when you stare at me and ask stupid questions.

The reality of the situation is that people just want to show their concern. Most people have never heard of this or even seen it first hand. I have to be open and receptive to their queries and concerns. True nothing they say can make it better, but by educating them, maybe someday they can deal with it better (if it happens to them or a loved one) I just want to go to work. I kind of miss it. I wanna see the crew and smell the smells. I want to do the best job I can and come back home to my face massages. I don't want any special treatment. Stand back and let me get my feet wet. If I need help, I will let you know. If I need more time, I will ask for it. Nobody likes to be made feel inferior.

Over all I can say that I'm doing pretty well. This is my second time around on the Palsy express. The first time was scary, the second time was scarier. Thank God I had enough sense to know my body and clearly read the symptoms as to get help in time. Having great family and friends giving me moral support has also made a big difference. I'm truly blessed. I'm a monster, I'm not going down without a fight. God bless.