Why do people get divorced? Almost everyone I know has divorced parents. Of my closest friends I only know of 2 whose parents are still together. Mine are the few that are. My parents have been together for almost 40 years. The truth is my mom divorced her first husband. I'm not sure if my dad had been married before he married my mom, but already had 6 kids with 4 other women before meeting my mom.
I'm not sure what the secret to a successful marriage is. I do know that about 15 years ago they had considered separating. All I remember was a lot of fighting and my dad telling me they were gonna get a separation. Soon after that the conflicts stopped. They occasionally go through there moments when they don't talk, but I don't see then actually splitting up at this point.
One of my brothers has been married to his wife for 20 years. I think they used to fight more in the beginning. Like my parents I don't see him leaving now.
Marriage is a very serious commitment. I see alot of young couples getting married these days. Can you say short engagement? It doesn't seem like people are getting to know each other very well before they head to the courthouse. I guess it's like they say, you just know. On the other hand a good number of married men that I know either cheat or complain that they aren't physically satisfied.
What is the purpose of marriage. Can't you just say I will promise to love this one person and not cheat and give my all without signing that paper? Is it all about the ceremony and party? Does one of the sides feel pressured to get married? Maybe people get married for the sake of the kids. I know couples that have been together to years, have children and never felt the need to make it official.
Is it more a financial move or the need for medical insurance. For instance some company's offer medical benefits to live-in partner's. They don't have to be married to you, but if they live with you, they get benefits. Marriage also has it's perks at tax time. For those that have money, means they get half. Joint accounts and life insurance can also be seen as a benefit.
Are there pros for divorce? For those that have money means, you get half. Maybe divorce shouldn't be an option. Seems like people get married to give it a try, because they know they can file for divorce when they get bored. There are people out there that have been married a handful of times. It's so easy to take back your vows, why take them in the first place.
Is it more common for people to stay for the kids or split up without taking into account how it affects the kids? What's worse getting a divorce because you are "unhappy" or "destroying" your child's world? I think alot of people that divorce really only care about what they want not what's best for their kids. I understand if your in an abusive situation or your spouse is a drug addict. My mom told me a story about a co-worker of hers back in the day. She went to the wedding, it was a big deal. less then a year later, the wife filed for divorce because she opened the bathroom door and saw him taking a poop.
Men should never put there hands on a women period. I don't care if she cheats, or talks about your momma. Women should never put their hands on a man. Especially if you do it thinking that he can't hit you back because you can call the cops and get him locked up. The first time you let him or her strike you and the get away with it, it will happen again.
Cheating is wrong. It's disrespectful to your spouse, yourself, and the other person. Never think you can get away with it, because the truth will eventually come out. If your not getting what you want at home then get out. Don't get married if you been cheating on them the whole time you been going out with them. Never marry a person you met when they cheated on their spouse. If they cheated on them, what makes you think they won't do it to you.
Be honest all the time. If you don't love or see yourself being faithful to this person, don't do it. They may be hurt for a little while, but respect your honesty in the long run. They will hate you more for it after the fact. You don't have to lie. One lie leads to another. So don't start. Most importantly be honest to yourself.
This March I will have been in a relationship with my wife for 9 years. I was 22 and she was 26. We got engaged pretty quickly. I knew she was the one by the following Valentine's Day. Living together was an eyeopener. There was alot of stupid arguments over nothing. In the beginning I wouldn't know how to let things go, so things would get out of hand. For about a month in the second year we broke up. It sucked, I spent alot of time at the strip club. The following year we welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world. In 2005 after trying to plan a wedding for years and not getting anywhere, my lovely wife ambushed me with a surprise wedding. It was on my 26th birthday. I figured they were taking me to a surprise birthday party, but it was actually a wedding. I knew I would stay with her anyway at this point, so making it official didn't scare me.
I'm not gonna lie and say that the last 5 years were a fairytale. The economy has been the biggest strain on our relationship. I've never resented her for not working, and she has never blamed me for our struggle. We disagree at times, but at the end of the day, there is no one else I would wanna go through this with. She knows what I like and respects my decisions. She is also the best mom I could have wanted for my daughter. We've had more ups then downs. I also know one day when the fog lifts, we'll appreciate each other more for what we've had to do endure.
It's not going to be easy. Never assume that you know what the other person is thinking. When you argue it's best to state your point and leave it alone. Why go back and forth when both sides are set on there view. Never use the kids as weapons. This also means don't tell your kids negative things about the other person. Never try to put your family in the middle of your conflict. Make sure you each have "me" time away from everything. Most importantly always appreciate what they do for you no matter how small it is (no pun intended).
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