A Run in the Park

All week I was planing on running this morning. My running partner had a long weekend so wasn't able to run with me. Congratulations to you and your bride by the way. This morning I decided to go on a long run by myself. With a partner I can push harder, so I was't sure how it would go. I had my old man drop me off by the Paint Branch Trail entrance in Riverdale.

Table for one, please.

Being me has always been hard to say the least. I've always been a chubby, funny looking kid. I'm agonizingly shy. Worst of all, I'm painfully kind and gentle. I've always made it my mission to please others. I never ask for anything in return. This makes for a lot of awkward situations. I would go to the ends of the earth for my friends and family. I'm not quite sure how many would do the same for me. I assume it's only right, but I'm a realist and don't expect anything from anyone. When someone does show good will towards me, they are golden. They never have struggle alone again if I'm around. Anything they need is done. It's sad because most people don't even notice my efforts. The ones that do, either don't care, are creeped out or tell me to stop. This type of existence is conducive to chronic loneliness. I work. I go the gym. I cook. I do laundry. All by myself. I struggle everyday. Nobody ever notices or offers any help. When I do ask for help, they look at me funny or make up excuses. When I see them struggling, I drop everything to help them. Sometimes I just wanna be jerk, tell the world to fuck off. I always wonder how things would be if I wasn't there. I assume that no one would notice I was gone. I think people would notice when things stopped just happening. They didn't realize how much I really contribute to there comfort-ability. I will never know how it is not to struggle. How it is not to worry. How it is to be taken care of or appreciated. I'm not bitter, I'm just being honest with myself. My life is 'a table for one' If I'm hungry, I have to cook. If my clothes are dirty, I have to wash it. If I'm tired, I have to finish my work, before I can rest my head. When I'm hurt, I have take care of myself. Do I complain, why? I keep on doing what's best. I sit at my table for one, eat my food, drink my wine and plot my next move.

What I did and how I did it

People have been asking me how I lost 37 pounds in 4 months. It's called science and routine. I didn't do anything drastic. I didn't stop eating. I didn't spend 2 hours in the gym 7 days a week. I didn't drink juice for the last 4 months. I didn't take any "weight loss" drugs. What I did was easy, deliberate and calculated. This how I did it.

Pitch In

A lazy Monday with the family on the sand. The weather was perfect. Since we got there early, there wasn't a lot of foot traffic. I was able to walk around the beach and take pictures of things that were interesting and things that were just appalling. Although it was a partly cloudy day, the sun managed to break through at mid-morning  Even at noon, there were still only about 30 families on the beach. We posted up at a picnic table and put down our blankets just where grass became sand.

This is the end... this is the end my friend... the end

Today is the final day of my first 30 day challenge. I committed to writing 30 posts in 30 days. When I finish this post, I will be done. Let me tell you, it has been hard. I didn't always have inspiration. At least half of them came to me as I sat at the computer. When I really drew a blank, I would just write a poem. It was interesting to think that I could finish something I started. Which has always been a weakness of mine. I know that most of it was rubbish, but I feel that I fulfilled the challenge and am ready for the next one.

McBurger Hell

Dollar burgers? Who's frigging brilliant idea was this? Lets sell quarter pound beef patties for one dollar. Not only plain patties, but lets make 5 seasoned varieties. People lose there frigging minds. Normally we sell half pound patties at $5.99 per pound, so they cost about 3 bucks a piece. Lucky for us it's only for one day. It was originally a 4 day promotion. We try to be prepared, but you can never be prepared for something like this. 

Yoga... will kill you if you let it

Today was an eye opening experience for me. I always enjoyed, the idea, of Yoga. Once upon a time I used to try to follow along with video on demand fitness videos. I actually thought I was doing something. A couple of weeks ago my boss decided that for our meeting today, she would take the management team to a group Yoga class. I was game, until I had to run to the Yoga studio.

Day 27

I can't quit now. I only have 3 more days to go. I have to write something significant today for it to count. I'm not done with one 30 day challenge, but I'm thinking about the next. I will take a picture a day of the things in the my life. I already have ideas for the first ones. Some of my daughter's crazy room and some of my shoe collection. 

I got a story to tell: The life and crimes of Joey Patagonia

Click clack piece down. Creep up on the brother. No one's gonna know.

Eyes Closed: Numbers Game

Sitting here nodding off, can hardly keep my eyes open. I hear the TV on and off. I want to pass out, but I know I have a story to tell. I first opened my eyes 16 hours ago. When I got up the world was laying down to sleep. As I left, I said goodnight as I started my day. The morning was dark and cool. I follow the sun although I would not see it for another 10 hours. The lights from the cars reflecting off my windshield. Music vibrating my windows as I nod my head to stay alive, because if I fall asleep I'm as good as dead. I'm sleepier now than I was at 1:30 in the morning when I hit the road. 

Six Nine

69

Those numbers always warrant a sly look. To me it resembles the symbol for the horoscope sign Cancer. To me it also exemplifies the yin and the yang. The day and the night. The dark and the light. Male and female. They are mystical numbers and symbols. Depends on who you ask the 6 and the 9 have negative connotation. Three of either number in a series is considered the devil's sign. I think the numbers are of great importance. If you decipher the numbers in your life they tend to have more meaning. June is the sixth month of the year. My wife was born in June, which makes her a Cancer. September is the ninth month of the year. My daughter and I were born in September. She was born on the 12 which a multiple of 6. I was born in 1979. We hold a lot of power in the those numbers. March is also a month of importance. It is the third month which is the root number of 6 and 9 and also the difference. I began dating my wife on the 27th day of March, which is 3 times 9. March 9th was the day that The Notorious B.I.G., who I feel a mysterious affinity with, was gunned down and killed. In the grand scheme of things 6 and 9 will always govern our paths. I think that it is our destiny.

69

Take me out to the ball game

Today my brother and I treated my dad to a Nationals baseball game. He watches them religiously on TV. He definitely a fan. Nicaragua has a long tradition of baseball not to mention birthing Dennis Martinez. As a kid one of my fondest memories was watching the Orioles and Yankees play on TV with him. That is how I learned the game. I also learned all the old Nicaraguan sayings and puns about the game. Since Father's Day is next weekend, we decided to take him.

Today, Tomorrow and Next Week

My arms are sore. Today I lifted free weights at the gym. I did dumbbell curls, dumbbell presses, butterflies, rows, and shrugs. I usually do the circuit training but never feel it the next day. I thought it was the lack of amino-acids in my meat free diet. Today I went hard and got results. I actually welcome the soreness, because it makes me feel like I actually worked out. In a few hours I'm going to get up and go for a jog. I hope legs are ready to go. My ankle is a bit sore, but I think it's because of the boots I work in. 

The little things

These are the little things that make me smile...

My Body Project: Week 9 - 13

Well it's been 3 month's now. I'm officially a fish eating vegetarian. I've lost 28 lbs on the record (today I weighed myself and I was down 3 more pounds) I've gone out for some road runs, which was awesome. I feel great and look better. Even with a hectic work schedule, I find time to hit the gym at least 4 times a week.

Not like me

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. I need positive influences in my life right now. I'm trying not to let negativity keep me down. I know I'm a good person. I work hard and care too much. I'm done. I need to find something else to do with my life. Nothing I do is ever good enough. Why keep kicking a dead horse. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. Nobody cares. I've tried but I officially failed. It's time to walk away before I do something drastic. People think that they know me but they have no idea. You keep messing with the quite one, eventually they'll snap and show their true colors. If I don't step back I will die on my feet. I'm too young to feel like there is no hope. No one will ever understand you as much as you do. I don't hate them, I just don't understand them. They are stubborn and set in their ways. They can have it. I don't need this aggravation. I'm just one man. I have no one to rely on. No one to take up my slack. They expect the world from me, but can't catch me when I'm falling. I was born alone and will die alone. Nothing is like it seems. I never complain. I do what needs to be done. When things aren't perfect, I do my best to fix them. They sit down and cry about it. They blame me for everything. It's easier than working harder to get results. I'm not hard to deal with. I'm a pretty easy going guy. They can't accept that. They want me to be conniving and vindictive like them. They think that pettiness and self loathing is a personality trait. I got stuck with someone else's problems. It's a shame because they are good people. Not like me.

Hit Man Flow [Poetry]

Flows come to mind to unwind the clutter in my mind

Define a life lived to please.... kid please I'm gonna say thank you
As I grab the duffel and the wrap the towel around the muzzle to muffle
What is to be your last complaint.. I still feel disdain
So I kick your lifeless body.. Who cares cause nobody's
Going to notice you're gone.. Say goodbye to the bad guy
As I fly down I-95 to stay alive.. I arrive
At the  rest stop.. Brake lights bright red.. Exhaust in the air
As the door opens.. The bass resonates until I turn the ignition off
Because offing suckers is my business.. so stay out of mine
Pack of smokes, can of coke, and blunts for the toke
Barrel still warm in my waste.. No time to waste
I must displace the body of the gun and the soon to be John Doe

Flows come to mind to unwind the clutter in my mind

Flagrant I be with the hatchet.. whack whack.. this whack motherfucker
Tough as leather he is.. lighter by the pound in pieces
A suitcase, a gym bag, guitar case, a copy paper box all hold miscellaneous parts of a whole
This sucker's heavy.. No one notices us walk by
All they see is a guy with a guitar hanging from his shoulder, with a suitcase in one hand
A gym bag in the other and a box of copy paper tucked under his arm.. He must be moving
I'm grooving.. Shoulder pain as the strap digs in.. Box more and more heavy
Back in the truck you go, you bastard.. His picture plastered all over the evening news
Good news for me.. They think he's missing.. His head is missing from his torso
More so I drive.. As I vibe to to the music.. humming
Tomorrow is another day.. Don't delay.. Because I won't
Good night you good for nothing motherfucker.. I told you I was coming

Not So Perfect

Perfect. Does anyone really know what that means? Are you perfect or do you know anyone that is. The people that usually claim to be perfect usually are not. The people that tend to point out everyone else's imperfections are usually not. If you judge yourself by by everyone else's eyes, you will never be perfect.

Something something something something

I don't know if I will make it to 30 straight days. I guess that's why they call it a 'challenge' I'll be losing a lot of sleep when I try to write a novel in November. There is a reason why I only write a few times a month. It's hard to come up with stuff to write everyday. I'm so tired and need to get some sleep, but I need to write a bit more to be satisfied that I fulfilled my obligation.

This incoming week will be long and tiring. I was off this past Wednesday and will not be off again until next Saturday. I will be getting up at 3 am most of this week. I hope I can hang, because I have no other choice but to hang. Like the saying goes, 'you gotta pay the cost to be the boss' The following week I hope to be able to take 2 days off again. Maybe in late June I'll take a short break so I can visit some friends and relax a little.

The one thing I will be doing this long week is working out and try to stay busy. Even though I'm busy enough, sitting at home after work will not benefit me. Today I went to a family function. Tomorrow I will jog after work and the rest of the week I'll be going to the gym everyday after work. I need to loose 20 more pounds to be able to fit this suit for my friend's wedding in late July.

Enough is enough, I need to take my butt to bed and try to get at least 5 hours of sleep. Thanks for reading. Tomorrow at the same bat time and the same bat channel. Good night.